Communist Professors at Kansas University Go to War Against God’s Chicken

Battle lines are being drawn in Lawrence, Kansas as Kansas University professors call for Chick-fil-A to be removed from the Memorial Union building located on Mount Oread in the center of campus.

The faculty council at the school, a bastion of leftism in the middle of America’s heartland, is pushing to remove all traces of the country’s most popular fast food restaurant from school grounds.  They are also calling for prohibiting Chick-fil-A from sponsoring the coin toss at the beginning of all KU home football games.

The Sexuality and Gender Diversity faculty took time out from their busy teaching schedule to write a two page letter to the university saying that “the culture of Chick-fil-A fosters hate and discrimination on multiple levels” and that the university is more concerned with “money and corporate profits than the physical, emotional and mental well being of marginalized and LGBTQ students.”

Katie Batza, an associate professor of Women and Gender Studies is also calling for a boycott of the restaurant in the interim.

Though the fast food restaurant is noted for its customer service and efficiency, CEO Dan Cathy has drawn Liberal ire for his stated beliefs that marriage should be between a man and woman and for his charitable donations to Conservative organizations such as the Salvation Army and the Family Research Council.  As an indication of its commitment to Christian values, Chick-fil-A is also one of a handful of companies in the U.S. to be closed on Sundays.

The College Republicans on campus are circulating petitions among students and faculty in an effort to thwart the professors’ efforts.

The campus mascot, the Jayhawk, who some believe may be a distant relative of the chicken, had no comment on the controversy.